i just sent this text using only my big toe
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
