Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Let's get the cat blown out
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
