But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
