They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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