i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
