Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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