I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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