When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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