Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
