i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
