Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
