If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
