is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
