You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
