You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
i think i just lost a toe
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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