my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
