My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
No subtext here. People are naked.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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