you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
