Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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