Whod you bang
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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