I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
