Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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