come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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