is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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