Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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