Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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