So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
