What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
