Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
