i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
