Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
