Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
