Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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