no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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