You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
