do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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