im about as happy as oj after his trial
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
