So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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