yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
