Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
