do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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