There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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