He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
