You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
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