She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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