I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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