Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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