he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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