Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Randomize
