We're facebook friends in real life
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
