my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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