At least make sure they are 18
Why
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
