This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
