He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
