You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Is it because I queefed?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
