She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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